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On every city bus there is always one lunatic. If you can’t find the crazy guy on the bus, well…you know. The same goes for bicycle riders, everywhere. Sometimes we see some crazy stuff going down on the street: wrong-way riders, the guy who yells at every motorist, recumbents. But what if you don’t know if YOU are the crazy rider? If your “near-miss” column keeps stacking up, perhaps a couple of small tweaks in your game can help even the odds.

Here are a few tips I have learned from other riders over the years that have kept my stunt-man-car-hood-riding adventures in the single digits.

1. Pick A Better Route (where NOT to ride)

Let’s face it. There are roads we should not be riding. Yes, I know we ALL pay for road infrastructure with our federal, state, and local taxes, but I don’t own an AR-15 just because it’s my right. Some streets were simply not designed with bicycles in mind. Take it up with City Hall, not the motorist you are fighting with for the right lane.

For example, I avoid Guadalupe, Elliott, and Warner Roads in Tempe, Arizona eastbound from 2 to 6pm. I shun Scottsdale Road at any time of day. Am I a chicken? No, just a realist, that’s all. What to do for your city? Hit the interwebs. Most cities have maps of their bike lanes. Or better, research your Strava Heatmap to see what routes actual cyclists are using. If riders are still posting on Strava, chances are they are not dead yet.

2. Take The Lane (don’t ride like a tourist)

If you followed step one, hopefully you have an idea of where you want to go. Now, ride with a purpose. LOOK like you know what you are doing. LOOK like you should be on that road, even if you don’t know which way to go at the next corner.

Basically, ride confidently and predictably. Use hand signals. Study the road ahead instead of the Garmin on your stem.

3. Red Means Stop (yes, REALLY)

I guess we really DO need to go back to Kindergarten on this one. Stop for RED things: Stop Signs, Traffic Lights, classic Pinarellos, you know, even if you are turning right.

I know of ONE state in the Union which allows cyclists to treat STOP signs as Yield signs. Your first two guesses of California and Arizona are completely wrong. I have been plowed over from behind while waiting to turn right on a Red signal by a cyclist who didn’t even break cadence. Really guys? Go ahead, make my day.

4. Pluck The Buds (Huh ??)

I love music. There is always a song in my head. I used to jam tunes while riding asphalt in Phoenix, all up until I got “Right-Hooked” twice in three months. Had I not been ensconced in Maynard Ferguson, I think I would have heard both vehicles as they approached in my blind spot.

So, no more road tunes for me. But that’s just me. If you absolutely must groove, just wear one bud in your non-traffic-side ear. But why not enjoy the sound of the neighborhood?

5. Expect The Worst From People (you are invisible)

It sounds bad, but I plan for the worst and hope for the best. I assume that every driver who exits a parking lot, or turns right on a red, or passes right by me doesn’t see me at all. I wave. I look them in the face. Don’t be afraid to shout “WHOA!!” Just leave off the expletives, please.

Riding defensively just means being aware of your surroundings. It does not mean ride “offensively.” Either brake straight ahead OR make a sharp escape turn. Doing both simultaneously will surely leave you skin-surfing the pavement, closer to vehicle rubber and that is no fun.

6. Know The Law (AKA your rights)

We can’t all be Bob Mionske but a quick read of your local bicycle laws will arm you with some strategies for protecting yourself. Can you ride two-abreast outside the bike lane? When can you take the lane?

G.I.Joe always told me, “Knowing is half the battle.” Hopefully it is the half that keeps you alive, or at least legally protected.

7. Have Fun (Intervals are overrated)

Why did we ride bikes as a kid? Do we still have as much fun now as then? When I can’t hack the heat or the traffic anymore, I look for a donut shop. Seriously. Or tacos and some good glass-bottle Mexican Coca-Cola. Find your happy place. Maybe it is at the top of a local climb or next to the muni-lake downtown. Get your fill and ride on, happy and aware. Riding angry gives me tunnel vision and that is when I am most “at risk” for scuffing my skid lid on the road.

Let’s keep it clean out there: rubber on the road, and shiny side up.