I was at dinner the other night with my wife and some friends when the topic of my diet came up.

Because, you know, the only thing your non-bike riding friends want to hear about more than your stupid bicycle riding exploits, it is your kooky diet strategies.

During the course of the pleasant dinner conversation the question came up about “rewarding” oneself after a particularly long ride or a tough workout.

This got me thinking.

I’ve lived under the sweets-as-reward pardigm my entire life. If I was well-behaved in church I got a donut. If I got good news from school I got a cookie.

If I made it through an hour without getting fired by my mother at our rollerskating rink, I got some licorice rope or a slushie. (Yeah, we owned a rollerskating rink, but that is a story for a different time).

If me and neighbor kids played nice we got ice cream.

And on into adulthood the pattern continued.

If I had a tough study week I went out and had a big meal and desert.

Ok, actually, I went to Uncle K’s and drank a bunch of beer. But the same principle applies.

This doesn’t even begin to take into account Holiday “rewards.” The type of rewards you get for it just being a particular day of the year.

The problem is, now this strategy of rewarding myself for doing something good is counterproductive to the reason for doing the good thing to begin with. In my case, anyway.

The reward system has systematically undermined my desire to be healthy and, to be completely honest, thinner and faster on the bike.

I’ve rewarded myself into being 20 plus pounds overweight. I’ve convinced myself having a muffin (or two) on a long ride is completely reasonable. Or eating half a pizza after a particularly hilly ride is just me replacing the nutrients my body needs.

The pattern repeats itself over and over. I do something good for myself and then I “reward” myself by basically undoing whatever positive effect exercise might have had on my wellness.

I’m not saying the exercise didn’t have it’s benefit, but I am saying I have been making nutritionally bad decision after bad decision, based on wanting to “treat” myself for doing something I love.

I don’t need a reward to feel good about something I already feel good about doing.

I’m going to see this pattern of behavior for what it truly is, a road better left not ridden.