The Bike Shop Is a Midwest Oasis of Weird

The flagship Shinola store in downtown Detroit.

No matter where you are in the Midwest, it feels like The Heart of the Midwest. No town proclaims itself the “Fist of the Midwest,” “The Brains” or “The Pancreas.” In contrast to the Northwest, where people want to “Keep Portland Weird,” in this part of the country folk yearn for consistency, common sense, a purity of plainness. And so, we are all “The Heart.”

This truth says a lot about who we are as a place, and it helps explain how difficult it can be, when traveling within the Midwest, to experience difference. Apart from struggling independent bookstores and curry shops, I usually seek difference and weirdness in bike shops, and thank goodness for them.

Recent excursions have introduced me to two shops in particular that seem to represent extremes in the genre: from glossy and ethereal on the one hand, to an earthy sincerity on the other.

The first of these recent visits was to the flagship Shinola store in downtown Detroit (above). And boy is it something. The place is so immaculate and refined and atmospheric that it feels like something projected into your mind rather than something you walk into with your feet. The retail staff each sports a persona that ranges all the way from well-coiffed lumberjack to well-coiffed thoughtful-outdoorsy-type to someone who might date either of those two.

The flagship Shinola store in downtown Detroit.

And they’re nice. One taught me what I do wrong when I tamp my espresso shots. The rest at least looked friendly. Absent was any sense that customers were valued according to the profile of their calf muscles. Indeed, at no time was I even given the impression that any of these employees had ever actually ridden a bike.

The customers milled about more than they shopped, like at a gallery opening. Shinola seems to be using the idea of bicycles in order to sell the idea of Detroit. But it could be the other way around. Or maybe those two ideas combine to help sell the idea of watches and leather-goods. It is all very confusing and beautiful and I want everything I saw there.

Bike Courier Bike Shop in Louisville, Kentucky

And then, far away on the other side of the bike shop universe, is Bike Courier Bike Shop in Louisville, Kentucky. Where the Shinola visit was itself a destination, planned for weeks, this one was a surprise hidden among a stretch of workmanlike 19th century storefronts, preceded by a rushed parallel-parking job rather than a Siri-guided tour.

And you can probably imagine the place. This is the shop with all of the bikes. But it’s even better than that one because this is also the shop with more bikes crammed in its underlit crumbling-brick-floor basement full of spiders. It’s the one with the workbench built with 2×4 lumber, where you have to walk around the repair stand to get to the counter, where the owner, the only one there, streams the local soccer club’s first game of the season while relating to you the store’s curious backstory. You forget the details but remember that it was a good story, or at least kind of interesting, or at least definitely not a finely-honed marketing strategy.

These two spots feel like extremes, the bike shop version of Apollo and Dionysus: one a controlled pursuit of selling the “bicycle” as an abstract, high-value idea, the other a jumble of actual bikes, parts and people that has grown organically from the ground up, originating in a desire to ride. And the beautiful thing is that both of these stores invest their little corners of the Midwest with a sense of local identity and strangeness that is increasingly hard to find these days.

The flagship Shinola store in downtown Detroit.
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Best Commuter Bag: Patagonia Black Hole 35L

Patagonia Black Hole 35L
Patagonia Black Hole 35L pack. Photo: Jakob Schiller/Element.ly

I have at least a dozen commuter bags. Big ones, little ones, bright ones, dull ones, shoulder bags, backpacks, etc. I’m always looking for the best way to carry my turkey sandwich, spare tubes, rain jacket, laptop and other knick knacks to the office and then back home.



My current favorite is the Patagonia Black Hole 35L pack. Mostly because it’s simple. It has a huge main pocket with a laptop sleeve, then a top pocket for keys and a small front pocket for my precious Moleskines. There’s no searching through 12 different pockets to find what I need.

It also carries well. Broad shoulder straps help spread the weight and don’t dig into my shoulders. A contoured back panel keeps me from drenching my work shirt on the ride in, and a small waste belt keeps the bag from shifting around.

The pack is not waterproof, but it does the job. Last week I got caught is a total gusher. Sheets of rain driven by spring winds pelted me as I rode home but everything inside the pack stayed plenty dry. Not sure what you’d have to do to get it to leak, but it feels like you’d have to stand in the shower for 30 minutes to be in any real trouble.

I like to beat the shit out of my gear so thankfully it’s made from 1,200-denier fabric that can take a punch. As long as I don’t find a new favorite commuter pack anytime soon, this one should be around for a while to come.

Patagonia Black Hole 35L
Patagonia Black Hole 35L pack. Photo: Jakob Schiller/Element.ly

Review: The Marc Pro Is the Next Best Thing to a Proper Soigneur

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The Marc Pro does not go to 11. Photo: Jim Merithew/Element.ly

Just because a dial goes up to ten, doesn’t mean you have to put it there. Unless you’re an idiot, obviously. The dummy’s logic is simple and uncomplicated by things like common sense, moderation or physical discomfort: They wouldn’t have put the max setting there if you weren’t supposed to use it.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’m an idiot. All the way to the right, into the red; that’s where I want my settings. I dream of a Spinal Tap world where things might go up to 11.

Being an idiot, my first experience with the Marc Pro “muscle recovery and conditioning device” was somewhat painful. It was probably also very funny for Element.ly’s Jim Merithew, my roommate for a week, who got to enjoy the girlish giggles that the conductive gel elicited and then sit back while I worked my way up the dial. One, like a tickle. Two, a little buzz. By the time I was at four or five, there was a visible twitch in the muscles. Six or seven and those jerks became borderline spasms. Past that, and I was in convulsion territory, limbs flailing about the bed accompanied by a string of colorful expletives, the kind that you only find in my native Dublin. The kind that definitely are not fit for print.

The theory behind all this is pretty revolutionary. Recovery, as we know it, has been a waste of time according to Marc Pro. To properly repair muscles, you need to engage the lymphatic system to remove waste, which means compressing muscles, which means exercising after you’re spent. Not something any of us want to do. The solution, claim Marc Pro, is to stimulate the area with small electrical pulses that require no aerobic effort from the user and create no fatigue.

My first session with the Marc Pro was an intense experience – because of the idiocy already mentioned – but also a transformative one. I’m past being a sceptic. I’m a cynic. I think almost everything is a scam, and even when something is so unequivocally good that I can’t scoff at it, I’m distrustful of the new. But I loved the Marc Pro.

Not right away, admittedly. A bit like coffee or beer, it’s not something that you’re going to like right away. Anyone who has ever had a massage from a proper soigneur will know what I’m talking about – it’s not a pleasant sensation, per se, but you know something good is happening. And after suffering through 40 minutes or so, my legs felt fresher, and the next morning they were better yet. I challenge any cyclist not to be hooked after that.

So, give it some time and you’ll fall for its charms. And then, like the morning’s first espresso or that ice-cold lager after a hard day, before too long you might even wonder how you ever lived without one.

Get a Marc Pro. Visit the Marc Pro site.


Review: Chaco Hipthong Sandal

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Photo: Jakob Schiller/Element.ly

I have a closet full of shoes. More than most people because I review them. But you wanna know what’s on my feet 98-percent of the time during the spring and summer? Chaco’s Hipthong sandal. Burlier than a regular flip flop, easier to put on than a regular Chaco, and they make for a wicked, and weird, Chaco tan.



Call me lazy, but I’m not a fan of having to stop and fiddle with a heal strap when I put on a pair of sandals. Yes, for river trips or when I need a little support the regular Chacos with that strap are bomber. But for kicking around town, or camp, the Hipthongs are unmatched because they slide right on. No hands.

Unlike a regular flip flop, which becomes useless the minute you have to scramble, the extra straps on the Hipthong will keep your feet in place even on a steep incline. Built with the normal, thicker footbed, they also provide tons of support and you can hike in them if need be.

It’s just getting warm but I already have a couple weeks in on my favorite pair. My tan isn’t really there, but check back later. I guarantee you’ll be impressed.


Review: Retro Storage With the Terrain Pannier

Terrain Pannier by Sons of Trade and Iron and Resin

The modern-classic motorcycle boom is in full swing. It was re-pioneered in 2005 by Triumph, and now Ducati has released its old-school style Icon scrambler. BMW has also announced production plans of similar designs as additions to its R Nine T lineup.

With no shortage of makes or models, anyone can now achieve that classic sepia-toned daydream of long summer days, endless curvy roads, and weekend getaways. These retro styled bikes look great cruising down the road, and since even the most Spartan of bikers need a place to pack their essential travel shit, you’ll want a storage solution that doesn’t kill the vibe.

I have a 2013 Triumph scrambler and the last thing I wanted to do was attach a metal frame to it for mounting hard cases, that’s what my trusty Kawasaki KLR 650 is for. With that in mind, the hunt was on to locate a functional canvas or cloth pannier for service on my overnight trips.

While browsing pictures on Instagram I stumbled on a pannier that — how do I put this — just looked bitch’n. I left a comment for the owner and she introduced me to The Terrain Pannier, birthed through a partnership of Iron & Resin and Sons Of Trade.

The pannier is specially designed for most vintage and modern motorcycles with an aesthetic to match. What they did was sew brackets on the back of a Sons Of Trade Pioneer Backpack and provided mounting straps, but its beauty lies in its simplicity.

At first I was apprehensive of its modest design of interlocking rectangle and D rings, wondering: Would they be enough to hold the bag when fully loaded? After 1,000 miles on some of the curviest sections of the Pacific Coast Highway, those fears were put to rest as I had zero issues with the mounting system.

Terrain Pannier by Sons of Trade and Iron & Resin

The pannier comes with six straps of varying length ensuring a tight fit regardless of motorcycle, though it’s “best for bikes with a single side exhaust, rear frame, and rear shocks.” Half an hour of fiddling yielded a fully mounted pannier sans one mounting strap as there was no place to hook it onto the frame. Even without the fourth mount, there wasn’t enough play in the bag to make me worry about it slipping off, though I did kick out the pillion foot peg to give it a little extra support.

After a little initial fumbling I was able to get my mount time down to less than thirty seconds. This, combined with an extra supplied strap that converts it into a messenger bag, means I can carry it into a restaurant or hotel with ease, which provides a peace of mind knowing some douche can’t come by and slash the bottom of the bag while I chow down on a burger.

The roll-top closure helps to elongate the saddlebag to 1,380 cubic meters of durable coated cotton-canvas space (12”W x 23”H x5”D), which I found was more than enough to stuff two pairs of underwear, three pairs of socks, two shirts, a beanie, locking cable + lock, goggles, various GoPro crap, and an essential roadside tool kit with plenty of room to spare.

Though it was released in a limited run and currently is out of stock, I expect popularity will bring back the Terrain Pannier, if only in small batches. So keep an eye out for future stock updates on this versatile pannier/bag combo.

As my Yoda of motorcycling always says: “Put all the stuff you think you need on the bed, subtract half and double your cash.”

Terrain Pannier by Sons of Trade and Iron & Resin

All photos by Nathaniel Chaney


Review: The Yeti SB5c Saved My Winter

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Who else gets offered to test a brand new Yeti SB5c and thinks, “Why now?”

I’d just gotten an email from Element.ly founder, Jim Merithew, asking me to pick up the Yeti Sb5c for some testing, and I was actually a little bummed. Sure, after obsessively reading a bazillion glowing reviews on the Yeti’s turquoise wonder bike, I definitely wanted to get some time on it, but it was early November. Snow had already buried my favorite high-country trails. Fresh Powder magazines were in heavy rotation on the back of my toilet. I’d just bought new ski wax, and after three dismal winters here in California, I was really looking forward to spending my weekends backcountry skiing in Tahoe and the Eastern Sierra. Between work, family and the holidays, where would I find the time to ride the Yeti?

As November rolled on, small storms rolled in, over-saturating my regular trail network. But they weren’t cold enough to drop any real snow in the mountains, dammit. I was relegated to riding the nearby, decomposed granite trails that are typically populated by families and spandex-clad xc racers on hardtails. The SB5c was way too much bike for this. My personal bikes were totally clapped-out after Northern California’s never-ending summer, so I didn’t have any choice.

Yet the Yeti surprised me. The climbs and descents were way too short and punchy to be slinging any switches on the suspension, but the Yeti didn’t need it. I could hammer out of the saddle with the shock in full-open/descend mode and it just gripped the trail, driving me up climbs with barely a bob. The slack, but-not-too-slack, head angle carved up the twisty singletrack, leaving me hooting and hollering all the way back to the car.

The day after Christmas, I was dying to get out of the house. Nonstop work had rolled right into hosting a houseful of relatives. I needed escape. A nasty night-riding wreck years earlier had left me with a smile that was now mostly porcelain, so it had been years since I’d gone on a proper nighttime trail ride, but that’s all I could squeeze in.

Minutes into the ride, my handlebar-mounted light blinked out and I was left with one meager helmet-mounted light. Fuck it. I needed the ride. My eyes drilled into the night searching for every rock, root and corner. My mind felt like it was either on meth or melting with the effort of concentration. The Yeti’s neutral handling saved my ass numerous times as I blew through corners and into unseen rock gardens at ridiculously inappropriate speeds.

Yeti SB5c

New Year’s Day dawned with me driving to Santa Cruz’s Demo Forest to slide around trails there rather than the icy hardpack that was barely coating the slopes of Tahoe. Demo rides the high line of the coast, with dusty ridge top sections that twist through Manzanita before diving down into tacky redwood speeder-bike territory. Here, the Yeti found it’s true home. The tweener, 27.5 in wheels, whipped through the tight corners, and the Yeti felt incredibly balanced while sending it off root drops and rollovers. It made efficient work of the steep, grinding, fire road returns to the top.

By the end of February, I’d entirely given up on skiing. My one day in the backcountry had been more about slaloming rocks than slashing powder stashes. Even the few lift-served days had been just depressing. On the other hand, I’d put some serious miles on the Yeti. It had developed some creaks, but otherwise, had been trouble-free. A friend and I decided to tackle a pretty mean version of our local trails, essentially riding every trail in one day. I’d done it once before, but many other attempts had ended in early bailing – typically from mechanicals or a lack of motivation. Early on, I had a slow-speed crash, bending the Yeti’s rear derailleur hanger, leaving me with only a few gears that didn’t clatter and skip crazily.

Midway through the loop, I found the Yeti’s weakness on a pair of steep, rocky, loose moto trail descents. The smaller wheels combined with not the slackest head angle forced me to tiptoe through drops and ruts that I blasted through on my personal 29 in. trail bike. The somewhat pinner rear tire, a Maxxis Ikon, was quickly slashed on the first chute. Later, while fixing another pinch flat, my phone chirped with an email from Merithew, telling me Yeti wanted their bike back. This time, their timing was perfect.

Check out the Yeti SB5c on CompetitiveCyclist.com.


These Gloves Were Made for Riding

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Photo: Alexandria Washburn/Element.ly

Cold-weather riding is something of a myth for Californians. For us, we might have to zip the liner into our jackets or pull on a pair of long johns before a morning ride. That’s it.

I, therefore, was in for a rude awakening on a recent trip to Crater Lake, Oregon when I discovered what April feels like further north.



Having called ahead to book a room near the lake, I asked what the weather was like and the host responded, “Well there is still snow on the ground.” I took that to mean a minor dusting of snow, never thinking it might be a good six to eight feet up at the ridge of the crater.

With the knowledge that there was going to be some snow on the ground, I packed two pairs of winter gloves to test. The first was the Rev’It! Element 2 H2O glove, which is a full cuff glove comprised of cowhide, goatskin, and PU leather with reflective elements. Rev’It! states that this glove is a touring fit, which basically means it’s an American cut and doesn’t run as small as many European brands.

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Photo: Alexandria Washburn/Element.ly

The second set of gloves were the Dainese Clutch Evo D-Dry—a short textile glove with a regular size fit. The Dainese glove, unlike the Rev’It! has a hard knuckle which gives the glove a more aggressive look, along with pre-curved fingers that are designed to take stress off of the hand during longer touring.

Both sets of gloves are insulted for cold weather, have water proofing on the outer layers and microfiber inserts to help reduce sweating inside the glove.

When I left Burlingame in the morning the temperature was 48.9 °F and I donned the Rev’It! Element 2 H2O. Even with the insulated liner, the tips of my fingers were prickly numb within twenty minutes of freeway riding at seventy miles an hour. I only drove up Highway 101 for about forty minutes before ducking off to a side road that would take me to Highway 1.

Once I was down to forty miles an hour on slower stretches with curves, the tips of my fingers warmed up. Since the glove is a gauntlet style, I was able to zip up my jacket and then pull the glove down over it, utilizing both the wrist and cuff straps to ensure a tight fit with no gaps for freezing air to penetrate.

On the second morning up in Eureka, California the temperature was 43.4 °F and I pulled on the Dainese Clutch Evo D-Dry to see how they fared. Again, within twenty minutes of freeway riding the tips of my fingers were numb. But as I slowed down into the curvy portion of northern 101 through the mountains, the gloves warmed up a bit from my body heat and were comfortable. Even though these aren’t full cuff gloves, I didn’t experience much wind piercing the seam between the glove and my jacket sleeve.

The biggest difference in the gloves came in finger grip. The Dainese felt like snowboarder gloves when I tried to grip anything besides my handle bars—clumsy at best. The Rev’It! had better finger dexterity.

The lesson I learned on the trip is that unless the glove is heated, I don’t think any winter or windproof glove, on its own, is truly going to keep the tips of your fingers warm at high speeds. So plan your route accordingly.

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Photo: Alexandria Washburn/Element.ly

Hikers and Bikers: Rules For Getting Along

Mountain biking the Foresthill Divide Loop in Auburn, California. Photo: Max Whittaker

Mountain bikers are assholes. Seriously. I did a really unscientific study that proves it. I went for a ride and talked to other trail users. It was a busy Sunday on a very popular singletrack trail that has equal amounts of traffic in both directions. Notably, on the weekends there’s a lot of hikers—mainly tourists who don’t know that it’s predominantly used by mountain bikers.



My method was simple. Every time I met up with oncoming traffic, whether they were on feet or wheels, I’d smile, make eye contact, and say “Hi, how’s it going?” or something similarly friendly and cheery. Every hiker smiled and exchanged pleasantries with me. Every rider grunted or gave me a cold death stare. In two cases they shouted, “Ahhhhhh, sorry, sorry, sorry!” as they fishtailed around wildly, brakes locked-up and toes dragging in the dirt before finally not running me over.

No, I wasn’t ignoring local etiquette and riding up trails that are really meant for just descending. This trail has equal amounts of up and down, XCish fun. Yes, I followed the traditional etiquette of yielding to uphill traffic. No, this isn’t the only time, or place, I’ve experienced this. It’s not just me either. Just this past weekend on a similarly popular stretch of fire road, a group of hikers literally cheered my friend and I for being the only riders to say “Hi.”

So, what’s going on? That’s not a rhetorical question. Whenever I’m at a trailhead, race finish line, or bike festival, mountain bikers seem like the greatest people on earth. Friendly and outgoing and not in that douchey networking way. I’ve had complete strangers give me tubes, tools, shuttle rides, and vast quantities of beer. I’m a pretty introverted guy, but in a group of riders—even strangers—I always feel like I’m amongst my people. So, I’m genuinely confused by this behavior. More importantly, if I’m feeling it, then trust me, the hikers are definitely feeling it.

Who gives a fuck about hikers? Well, we all should. First off, we’re all hikers. When I take my three-year-old daughter or 68-year-old mother out on the trails, we’re hiking. I’m sure you do the same. Even more importantly, in 2013 there were 6.2 million hikers and only 1.8 million mountain bikers. They outnumber us and always will. When decisions are made about our public lands and trails, hikers vote, and land managers know it. Yes, purpose-built mountain bike trails are popping up everywhere, but even those typically allow hiking and the vast majority of us will spend our riding lives on trails we share with hikers. So how about we try to get them to like us? That way they won’t write shitty and hateful anti-bike comments on stories about trail access. They won’t show up at public meetings and advocate against opening more trails to riding. And they won’t be the dicks we so often apparently are to them.

Two things will help. First, ride in control. Notice, I did not say, “slow the fuck down.” If you can see a mile of clear trail ahead of you, then by all means, let ‘er rip. If you’re sliding into a blind corner, one foot out, and suddenly there’s granny in her white tennies two feet in front of you, well, get your shit together. Forget Strava. Eeking out every millisecond on every corner is called racing. Want to go really fast on trails that are guaranteed to be hiker-free? Enter a race. That’s the whole point.

Second, and most importantly, be nice. Let’s be honest, the little triangle trail user signs say we have to get off our bikes and yield to everybody. But really, 99.9% of hikers I see while riding willingly step off the trail and let me pass. Take the time to smile, say thanks, and let them know how many riders are in your group. Think of it as our own subliminal, charm offensive. Slowly, but surely, hikers will think of us as just happy, smiling, fellow trail users.


Caroline Kelm Lives the Good Life. And She Knows It.

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Photo: Jim Merithew/Element.ly

Caroline Kelm and her Husband Dax Kelm, who run Groundswell PR, are both stunningly good looking people. Like straight-out-of-Hollywood with chiseled features and huge smiles. And they have a beautiful kid, too. And they live right near the beach in South Carolina and travel the world working for large outdoor brands. Life is good.



We’ve come to respect Caroline because even after days of standing under fluorescent lights shaking hands and talking about the same products over and over at the annual trade shows, she’s always genuine, which is hard to find. In an industry that depends on relationships, she’s a pro.

Her connection to the outdoor industry started back in Jackson Hole, which is where she moved after college. She also met Dax in Jackson Hole and Groundswell PR has been open since 2012.

Today they have a full roster of clients including Fischer Skis, Freewaters, Hillsound Equipment, Hydro Flask, Jones Snowboards, Mountainsmith, Pistachio Chewy Bites, super.natural, The New Primal and the huge fish that is Under Armour. The business is growing and they’re continually hiring more people.

“Every day we pinch ourselves,” she says.

Outside the industry, Caroline is someone who you’d have no problem sitting next to on an airplane ride across the country because she’s funny, quirky and self deprecating. We asked her to tell us an embarrassing story and she wrote back with the following:

“When I was learning to surf in college, my girlfriend and I paddled out on a day that the current was very strong. It pulled us down the beach right into the middle of a surf competition. All we could hear from the beach was the announcer saying, ‘Please exit the contest area!’ We were paddling as hard as we could, but he shouted it about three times before we could get out of the way. It was pretty much mortifying!”

Down the road, Caroline says she’s excited about being a part of a growing movement in the industry that’s ensuring the products we use out in the mountains and in the oceans are made the right way. It’s not just about having fun, but also making sure that we’re accountable.

“Consumers are really getting to know the brands that they support and are starting to seek out those that are socially and environmentally responsible,” she says. “They’re digging deeper and want to believe in each company’s mission.”

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Photo: Jim Merithew/Element.ly

Off The Hook, On the Dirt

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Photo: Jim Merithew/Element.ly

There it hangs. From a hook. Like one of those amazing cuts of meat in an Italian butcher shop. Only it is not cured meat. It is a mountain bike.

Not just any mountain bike, but an Ellsworth Epiphany 275 Enduro, equipped with some delightful bits from the Shimano XTR grouppo and suspended by Fox. It was sent to me by Tony Ellsworth himself to give it a go.

The problem is, the bike’s still almost brand new.



So many plans, not enough actual riding. And now the call has come—they want their whip back.

I had good intentions and wanted to thrash this beast…but too late now. I spent most of January on the road and the weather in Northern California has been so spectacular I’ve spent most of my miles on the road.

If we’re being totally honest, just pulling on my road kit, putting air in the tires and rolling out of the garage is almost too much after a long week at work. The thought of finding my CamelBak, hunting down my mountain bike attire, knee pads and the like, and setting up the Ellsworth, plus driving to the trailhead makes me look the other way. I ignored that beautiful steed.

But then that call came, so today was now or never. Do or die. Roll or something else. I needed to get my game face on. It was time to get down and dirty.

I pulled out the trimmer last night and I shaved my head. I’m not sure why, but it seemed to put my head in the right place. I pulled out my bins filled with used bicycle attire and I found one of my water reservoirs, filled it and stuck it in the fridge. I dug out my Teva Pivots (still not sure why they killed off this shoe), pulled out some dark socks, my trusty Kitsbow shorts and overshorts and spent some time in the garage messing with tire pressure and suspension.

I went to bed feeling excited and confident. But I woke up feeling like a poser. I love mountain biking, but it I’ve done so little of it lately. Maybe I’m too old. Maybe the trails will be filled with super fit riders with hairy legs, flannel shirts and waterbottles filled with Pabst Blue Ribbon. Maybe they will be able to smell the fear on me and maybe I should just stay home, shave my legs and ride the road.

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Photo: Jim Merithew/Element.ly

So I decided to do what any God forsaken mountain biker would do when they are having trouble getting the party started. I threw my whip on the rack and drove straight to the donut shop. Not just any donut shop, but the Oakland famous Colonial Donuts.

I ordered up some horrible coffee and two chocolate cakes. I sipped my hot brownish caffeine water and scarfed my two tasteless treats and by the time I reached the trailhead I was ready to rock and roll.

The ride ended up being pretty nondescript. Which is to say it was not epic. Everything I pointed the Epiphany at was gobbled up. And she climbed the short and steep pitches and the long grinders with equal finesse.

I came back to the car after three hours of dirty business reminded of one thing and one thing only—never regret the things you do, just the things you do not.

I will be boxing up this beautiful steed here shortly and shipping her back to Tony. But not to worry—it is my understanding he has some new tricks up his sleeve, and I’m sure he will want to share.

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Photo: Jim Merithew/Element.ly